waahhh.

Today has been a shit show, so was yesterday....

I felt terrible yesterday. My vision went all wonky, my body parts felt numb, and I thought I was having a stroke. So I did the ONLY sensible thing. I DROVE MY SELF TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. yep...


I got there at about 2:45pm. I explained everything, following up with "and I'm 12 weeks pregnant"... they just looked at me, and told me to have a seat in the waiting room. The MINUTE my ass hit the chair I was whisked into the ER. Blood tests. MORE blood was drawn then when I found out I was pregnant. Then a urine test... and they checked my skin and eyes. Severely dehydrated. I was hooked up to an IV... they did an ultrasound on my carotid arteries (in my neck) to make sure there wasn't any issue or cause to think it was a stroke... I ended up having a total of 3 bags of fluids. about 1/2 way thru the 3rd bag I was taken back to UltraSound to check on Peanut. Measuring JUST over 12 weeks, and looking fabulous. thank god.

so I need to try to stay more hydrated. and have a little gatorade now and then. Throwing up SO much and being so exhausted and sleeping so much is what's leading to the dehydration. blah.

then today, has just been an epic fail. I don't know what's happening with my leave from work... either it's being denied or my time has run out. I got a check for $34 today. WOW. really?! I'm trying to take a hardship withdrawl from my 401K to catch up on bills, and stuff.

We go in on Tuesday (8/18) for testing on Peanut and I to check for potential birth defects. We'll have a new picture then too... and we'll get to hear the heartbeat.

I need to see if I can be released back to work. I can't afford to be out anymore, regardless of how sick I am. I'll figure something out. I'm also now looking for a new job, as I'm completely unhappy with my job and I really don't need the additional stress. (I KNOW every job comes with stresses, but for the last year, I've left work everyday cursing my life and wanting to quit) I need to find something that pays at least with in $2-$3 of what I'm making now... *fingers crossed*

I honestly felt today as if my life was a cruel joke, and that I was going to have a breakdown of epic proportions. 1st, I couldn't SLEEP because the fluids from the IV's hit me around 2-3am, and I had to pee every 15-20minutes until about 11am. (awesome), then there was the NO money in my bank account, the bills we need to pay, my car hating me, trying to eat, FINALLY falling asleep from about 12noon to 2:30pm. (most consecutive sleep in over 48 hours), and then completely botching dinner. (what was SUPPOSED to be a BBQ Chicken w/cornbread casserole, turned to shit. the corn bread burnt, and the chicken was still raw. next time, I'll cook the chicken FIRST).... so I cried. hysterically. I told Sean if I wasn't pregnant I'd throw myself off a roof... but if I wasn't pregnant, I wouldn't WANT to throw myself off a roof. He asked me to kindly wait until AFTER the baby is born. He's so cute.

the only plus I've found recently is this big 33oz (like, 1l) bottles of water called Smart Water... made by the same company that makes VitaminWater.... it's bottled water w/electrolytes. I'm NOT a huge gatorade fan, but sometimes I need SOMETHING, and this seems to work... not to mention I keep refilling the bottles once they are empty and carrying them around since it's a HUGE bottle and it reminds me I need to drink a SHIT load.

... on that note, my neck is KILLING me. my back, neck, hips and shoulders hurt. I'd like to thank the lovely dose of relaxin that my pregnant body is producing for the copious amounts of pain I'm in. The only way I can get comfortable is to lay on the hard wood floor on my back, or lay in bed and not get up.

It's going to be a LONG pregnancy if I can't get this shit to stop... Although, I'm seriously enjoying knowing that I'm growing a little person inside of me, and I'm hoping that subsequent pregnancies get easier, because Sean and I do want a few babies... and I don't want to rip his junk off after this one.

alrighty kiddies, keep it sticky *muah*