what the hell is wrong in the stars...

I forgot that crying nonstop gives you the headache from hell. and its the "O.M.G. hold me I'm devastated by the world" cry.

The world was fine until like, 11am...
and then suddenly Tommy-Cat wasnt able to walk. We went to Massachusetts Veterinary Referral Hospital in Woburn for emergency car... the diagnosis:
"Feline Aortic Thromboembolism" (also known as Saddle Thrombus)
he also had a heart murmur, congestive heart failure, crackles and fluid in his lungs, his body temperature on his backend was significantly lower than his front.

I lost my furry little man.
We laid on the couch for skootches and he purred for the first time since everything started, which was now 4 hours. My husband and daughter gave hugs, pets and kisses and said goodbye.
We made him comfortable and he laid on my chest getting pet while the doctor took all the pain away... He purred the whole time. He actually looked like he was smiling... I held him the whole time. Mommy wasn't leaving him...

I'm going to miss him crawling on me in the middle of the night to lay on my chest and headbutt me to get love. The way he'd rub against Sean's goatee to let him know that he loved him. He licked my forehead last week when I was home with the spinal headache and laid with me nonstop. I needed him as bad as he needed me...

Fioriet, Flexeril... nothing is helping my head pain. i need to get a referral to a pain clinic.

I'm just at a loss tight now...