what a busy little body....

Here... 28W5D... Me from the side, and one RARE view of my big, fat... baby insulating self. Creeeepppyy!



Started working my 6hr shift... even tho HR hasn't approved it, management said that BY LAW, they can't go against it since it is detrimental to my health. Jackasses. I need to find a new job. I was also told that if HR doesn't "approve" the doctors letter on restricted hours, I could be let go for excessive, unexcused time off. GAAHHH. Isn't this illegal?!
Oh, and I was told by the supervisor I'm "TOO NICE" for collections. and that she HOPES I get the hang of it soon or my career there is short lived. I HAVE COLLECTED OVER A GRAND THIS MONTH JUST LEARNING. bitch. *grumble*

So last night, I had to bail from work at like, 7pm. (Working 230-9) Why? Because I was having contractions. I had 5 in about a 2 hour time span, so I called the Dr. My on Call Dr called me back and said that if I'm not having at least 6 for an hour, 10mins or so apart, lasting 1-2 minutes it's not a big deal, not preterm labor. He said they MAY be from how active the baby is, I may be a little dehydrated or stressed... so to go home, eat a little, drink lots of fluids and lay on my left side. I was BAWLING hysterically at work because I thought things were wrong. Having said that, I'm STILL having contractions, have been all night, 2-5 an hour, and even woke up to one. They aren't painful, but they are mighty uncomfortable. I don't know if I should try to stay home and rest today, or go to work and tough it out. I'm worried about the stress from the assholes at the new job getting to me... *sigh*

At least today is pay day, and I woke up to money in my bank account! Of course, it's ALLLL going to be gone by the end of the day! but still...

I need to call CVS Pharmacy and see if my Insulin pens have come in. I'm not overly enjoying taking insulin with every meal, but it's not FOR me, it's for Ashlyn, and since this little pod person is my life right now, I need to do what I need to do to keep her healthy... and to hopefully avoid complications and a C-Section...

Eh... one good note, it's not snowing or raining!

... So I've been missing for almost 2 months?!?!

Sometimes life gets in the way of... well..., LIFE!
Let's recap, shall we??

I left my job at Comcast September 19th. Found out we were having a LITTLE GIRL on 9/24/09. (Ashlyn Niamh) and I think that's where we left things...
I was DENIED for unemployment. Comcast told the state I left because I feared being terminated over my absences. Assholes.
Applied EVERYWHERE. Landed a job at a Medical billing/collection company as a Collection Dialer. (I leave those collections messages on your machines! HA!) Started there October 28th. All seemed great!

Started November with the FLU. HAHAHAHA. *ahem* missed a week of my new job. but since everyone at work had the flu, just got a note.

November 4th had U/S of Ashlyn:
She's measuring in the 69th percentile, and she's LOOONNNG. 2 weeks longer than the U/S date (the US was 23W5D, she was measuring 25w3D)
Failed my 1 and 3 hour glucose screening tests. Have Gestational Diabetes. Started Insulin JUST before breakfast LAST week... as of Tuesday I'm on insulin before every meal... Eh. Nothing I can do about it.

Um... Let's see. OH! I WAS working full time. I've been cut to 6hours MAX a day by my OB/Gyn.... because of my hips/back/pelvis and excessive foot swelling. EH. it happens. Start new 6 hour shift today.

Next UltraSound is 12/16/09. As of THIS Friday 12/11/09 I'm going to be 29weeks pregnant, and I have 11 weeks left until my Estimated Due Date. WHERE did the time go?!?!!? Holy crap!

Let's see... what else... I think for the most part that covers it. OH, I LOOK pregnant...
This is 26 weeks, I need to take a new one... but people are ALWAYS in the freaking bathroom at work, and that's the only place I can get a good pic. I'll try again today.

Other than that, life is good. My sister is planning my shower for Sunday, January 31st, and we're just hoping Ashlyn stays in there that long!!!

I'll be back soon, I'm going to TRY not to go missing now that things are back on track a bit.

XoXoXo... Kristen

SO... it's a GIRL!

I've been really slacking. Between STILL having morning sickness (at 18 weeks) and having SPD (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction - http://www.birthsource.com/scripts/article.asp?articleid=189) ... oh, and no longer having a job or source of income... I've been a little stressed.

ANYWAY.

Today was our Fetal Survey. Peanut is GIRL! We've chosen the name Ashlyn Niamh (pronounced Neev) which means Dream Radiance in Gaelic. Since she's been what we've been dreaming of for YEARS.

She was about 10 ounces, and had a heart rate of about 153.

I'm at a TOTAL loss for words, yet I can't SHUT UP. She was flipping, sucking her thumb, moving, kicking, punching, waving... it was AMAZING. I could have watched that screen for HOURS. It was beautiful. She looks healthy, and has a strong little heart. VERY cool.

So we now have Daddies little Girl. <3

Introducing... Peanut.

Well... I'm 12weeks, 4 days...
and this is Peanut!

We heard the heart beat... like a Timex watch under water. woosh woosh woosh, ha. While we were doing the ultrasound Peanut FLIPPED over. I saw the baby facing up, then I think I saw JUST the butt, and then UPSIDE DOWN. it was hilarious.

Oh, and Peanut has a little peanut tongue sticking out. TOTALLY our kid!!!

I can't believe I forgot to do this!

July 17th 2009, this is Peanut at 8weeks!!!! ha.

waahhh.

Today has been a shit show, so was yesterday....

I felt terrible yesterday. My vision went all wonky, my body parts felt numb, and I thought I was having a stroke. So I did the ONLY sensible thing. I DROVE MY SELF TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. yep...


I got there at about 2:45pm. I explained everything, following up with "and I'm 12 weeks pregnant"... they just looked at me, and told me to have a seat in the waiting room. The MINUTE my ass hit the chair I was whisked into the ER. Blood tests. MORE blood was drawn then when I found out I was pregnant. Then a urine test... and they checked my skin and eyes. Severely dehydrated. I was hooked up to an IV... they did an ultrasound on my carotid arteries (in my neck) to make sure there wasn't any issue or cause to think it was a stroke... I ended up having a total of 3 bags of fluids. about 1/2 way thru the 3rd bag I was taken back to UltraSound to check on Peanut. Measuring JUST over 12 weeks, and looking fabulous. thank god.

so I need to try to stay more hydrated. and have a little gatorade now and then. Throwing up SO much and being so exhausted and sleeping so much is what's leading to the dehydration. blah.

then today, has just been an epic fail. I don't know what's happening with my leave from work... either it's being denied or my time has run out. I got a check for $34 today. WOW. really?! I'm trying to take a hardship withdrawl from my 401K to catch up on bills, and stuff.

We go in on Tuesday (8/18) for testing on Peanut and I to check for potential birth defects. We'll have a new picture then too... and we'll get to hear the heartbeat.

I need to see if I can be released back to work. I can't afford to be out anymore, regardless of how sick I am. I'll figure something out. I'm also now looking for a new job, as I'm completely unhappy with my job and I really don't need the additional stress. (I KNOW every job comes with stresses, but for the last year, I've left work everyday cursing my life and wanting to quit) I need to find something that pays at least with in $2-$3 of what I'm making now... *fingers crossed*

I honestly felt today as if my life was a cruel joke, and that I was going to have a breakdown of epic proportions. 1st, I couldn't SLEEP because the fluids from the IV's hit me around 2-3am, and I had to pee every 15-20minutes until about 11am. (awesome), then there was the NO money in my bank account, the bills we need to pay, my car hating me, trying to eat, FINALLY falling asleep from about 12noon to 2:30pm. (most consecutive sleep in over 48 hours), and then completely botching dinner. (what was SUPPOSED to be a BBQ Chicken w/cornbread casserole, turned to shit. the corn bread burnt, and the chicken was still raw. next time, I'll cook the chicken FIRST).... so I cried. hysterically. I told Sean if I wasn't pregnant I'd throw myself off a roof... but if I wasn't pregnant, I wouldn't WANT to throw myself off a roof. He asked me to kindly wait until AFTER the baby is born. He's so cute.

the only plus I've found recently is this big 33oz (like, 1l) bottles of water called Smart Water... made by the same company that makes VitaminWater.... it's bottled water w/electrolytes. I'm NOT a huge gatorade fan, but sometimes I need SOMETHING, and this seems to work... not to mention I keep refilling the bottles once they are empty and carrying them around since it's a HUGE bottle and it reminds me I need to drink a SHIT load.

... on that note, my neck is KILLING me. my back, neck, hips and shoulders hurt. I'd like to thank the lovely dose of relaxin that my pregnant body is producing for the copious amounts of pain I'm in. The only way I can get comfortable is to lay on the hard wood floor on my back, or lay in bed and not get up.

It's going to be a LONG pregnancy if I can't get this shit to stop... Although, I'm seriously enjoying knowing that I'm growing a little person inside of me, and I'm hoping that subsequent pregnancies get easier, because Sean and I do want a few babies... and I don't want to rip his junk off after this one.

alrighty kiddies, keep it sticky *muah*

I have some things to say, and this is my conduit to do so.

I?ve spent a lot of time lately thinking, and I wanted to just put a few things out here? not so much for everyone else, but for me. It?s not directed at any one in particular, but I feel that I need to do this for me?

I want to start by saying that I really DO appreciate all the info, stories and ? details that everyone has given me in regards to child birth and pregnancy. I don?t want to sound like I?m NOT grateful, because I am. The info is close and personal to you, and I?m honored that so many of you want to share these intimate details, but I?d really, really don?t want to hear ALL the details of how you brought your precious bundle of joy into the world.

In the past month, I?ve heard all the awesomeness, and all the horror stories of at least 75% of the people I know.
I?ve been told I NEED TO have a natural, drug free birth, I?ve been told I HAVE to breastfeed, I?ve been told what to do, what not to do, what to eat, what not to eat? that if I have a C-section or I use drugs for labor I?d be ?a bad mother?, and I?ve also been told that I NEED to get an epidural, a spinal block, ? a million different things coming from many directions based on everyone else?s experiences.
I?ve also had a few people who?ve just flat out said that regardless of what I do, or how I do it, I?ll be a great mother and to just enjoy the pregnancy and ignore what everyone else is telling me. THIS I appreciate.

What I?m about to say, I say as lovingly as possible?
My pregnancy is NOT your pregnancy? just as yours wasn?t anyone else?s. Seeing as how I have had my body all my life, I know it best, and I trust my doctors who?ve being through hell and high water w/me and my medical issues to assist me in making the BEST decision for me and our child.
Whether or not I do Hypno-birthing, water birthing, c-section, Epidural, Natural? I?m going to be the one growing this child and bringing it into the world, and no matter HOW this child arrives here, all I want is a healthy child.

While I appreciate all the Fem-Nazi?s out there who demand that women have natural drug free child births with only the support of family and a midwife, part of being feminine is having the right to choose what I do with my body, and my options surrounding MY labor and delivery. What works for you, may not work for me, and what works for me, may not work for the rest of the general population.

The way a child is brought into this world does not make a woman any more/less of a mother?. Just as the feeding options doesn?t dictate whether or not she?s a good parent either. Loving and nurturing your child and family is what MAKES you a mom/dad/awesome parent.

If I ask for help, info, opinions and options, then obviously I want them, but I really can do with out the unsolicited information from everyone and their mother on how we should bring Peanut into the world and raise him/her. I respect everyone?s options and opinions on how they want their child raised, and I don?t just anyone else for the decisions they make so long as they are caring for their child. Please don?t pass judgment on me, or anyone else for the decision that are made in our personal lives.

Thanks for reading!!